Stop It!

I went into Bournemouth yesterday evening to watch the Xmas lights be turned on.

The square was packed with about 400 people, with an alpine bar, food stalls / a mini ski slope & climbing wall. Entertainment was courtesy of the local radio station, 2CR - a band doing acoustic covers (not bad), then a Robbie tribute, who looked like maybe Robbie will in 10 years time when he's eaten way too may pies.

I paid a stonking £3.50 for a limp hotdog (& had to pester the guy for more onions, he gave me so few), and listened in disbelif to him tell a girl that sausage & bacon in a little baguet would cost her £5!

Anyway, a poorly disguised Santa turned the lights on, and there were fireworks from on roof of Debehnams, directly in front of the square. That's where the fun begun.

The first fireworks were ones that go up a bit, then pop into 2 horizontal flares. Trouble was that they didn't go up very far before splitting, and rather than going straight up, went over the crowd! One in particular, bouncing down the roof of the alpine bar. Thankfully they mostly went out just before head hight, but the hot ash still landed in the crowd.

There were some others that were nice & 'fizzy', then some green fireballs. Again, rather than going up, these came stright down from the roof of debenhams (about 5 stories up), into the crowd! We all stood there firstly in disbeleif, then in panic, as we watched several green fireballs coming directly at us in quick succession!

There were only about 20 or so of them, so they stopped just as people really stated to panic, and it looked like there was going to be a stampede.

Thankfully nothing hit me or my mates, but some people must have been hit - as far as we could tell nobody was hurt, although as the fireworks ended (with a big bang that made everybody jump out of their skins), people just left, in shock and withouth any applause.

Of course the authorities can't be blamed for faulty fireworks, but really they should have stopped them after the first ones went wrong.

It's no fun watching a golfball sized fireball heading towards you at high speed I can tell you! It felt more like being in a war zone than in Bournemouth town centre. I could imagine parents with small children being particularly distressed / angered by this.

Well it's Friday afternoon, and I would feel bad about this if I hadn't seen what emporer pengins put themselves throught on planet earth last week.

Try your hand at this little game (embedded in a powerpoint) I managed a best distance of 192.1

Penguin Game!Click here to download, enjoy!

My draining adverts post the other day got me thinking about all of the stuff they have already invented and marketed to us that we don't actually need. The list is long friends - here are some of my favourites:

- George Foreman style grills (yes people, normal grills also allow fat to drain away!)

- Leaf blowers (genius!)

- Different types of disposable nappy depending upon what the child is doing.

- Plug in air fresheners

- Automatic gates / garage doors (take longer to open than if you got out, did it yourself, and got back in again)

- Fruit corner yoghurts

- Dual engine cars

- Organic food (contentious?)

- Antistatic wipes on a stick (dusters people)

- Flags that clip onto car windows (remember the world cup?)

Please add any you can think of to the list!

Got this in email the other day - made me smile! Old? me? who do they think they are telling me what to think? I remember when......

>> BORN BEFORE 1986?
>>
>> According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who
>> were kids in the 60's, 70's and early 80's probably shouldn't have
>> survived, Because our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured
>> lead-based paint which was promptly chewed and licked.
>>
>> We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors
>> or cabinets and it was fine to play with pans. When we rode our
>> bikes, we wore no helmets, just flip-flops and fluorescent 'spokey
>> dokey's' on our wheels.
>>
>> As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or airbags
>> and riding in the passenger seat was a treat.
>>
>> We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle and it
>> tasted the same.
>>
>> We ate chips, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy juice with
>> sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always
>> outside playing.
>>
>> We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and
>> no-one actually died from this.
>>
>> We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went
>> top speed down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.
>> After running into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve
>> the problem.
>>
>> We would leave home in the morning and could play all day, as long
>> as we were back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us and
>> no one minded.
>>
>> We did not have Play stations or X-Boxes, no video games at all. No
>> 99 channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile
>> phones, no personal computers, no DVDs, no Internet chatrooms.
>>
>> We had friends - we went outside and found them. We played elastics
>> and rounders, and sometimes that ball really hurt! We fell out of
>> trees, got cut, and broke bones but there were no law suits.
>>
>> We played knock-the-door-run-away and were actually afraid of the
>> owners catching us. We walked to friends' homes.
>>
>> We also, believe it or not, WALKED to school; we didn't rely on
>> mummy or daddy to drive us to school, which was just round the corner.
>>
>> We made up games with sticks and tennis balls. We rode bikes in
>> packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood. The idea of a parent
>> bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of...they actually sided with the law.
>>
>> This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and
>> problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an
>> explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and
>> responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. And you're one
>> of them. Congratulations!
>>
>> For those of you who aren't old enough, thought you might like to
>> read about us.
>>
>> This my friends, is surprisingly frightening......and it might put
>> a smile on your face:
>>
>> The majority of students in schools & universities today were born
>> post 1986....
>>
>> AIDS has existed since they were born. CD's have existed since they
>> were born.
>>
>> Michael Jackson has always been white.
>>
>> They can never imagine life before computers.
>>
>> They can't believe a black and white television ever existed.
>>
>> And they will never understand how we could leave the house without
>> a mobile phone.
>>
>> Now let's check if we're getting old...
>>
>> 1. You understand what was written above and you smile.
>> 2. You need to sleep more, usually until the afternoon, after a
>> night out.
>> 3. Your friends are getting married/already married
>> 4. You are always surprised to see small children playing
>> comfortably with computers.
>> 5. When you see children with mobile phones, you shake your head .
>> 6. Having read this mail, you are thinking of forwarding it to some
>> other friends because you think they will like it too...
>>
>> Yes, you're Getting old!!

Anybody seen the recent advert for stuff to put in your dishwasher to clean out it's pipes, and the drains?

It goes along the lines of 'even though the inside of your dishwasher may look clean - there's all kinds of grease, dirt & germs in the pipes & drains' (insert brand name here) tackles this blah blah snore....

I hadn't realised that my little multicoloured dishwasher tablets - that manged to leave the interior of the dishwasher, and the dirty dishes all sptoless & shining like new would be renedered powerless as soon as they left the building (so to speak). And that their magic cleaning powers didn't work on pipes / drains.

It makes you wonder what completely useless products they will dream up and try to sell us next? Here's a few I thought of, but I'd love to hear yours!

- Something that makes your sewers smell like a pine glade in spring and a great environment for your kids to play in.

- Floor cleaner that penetrates the carpet layer, and cleans the floorboards / floor beneath.

- Ceiling cleaner

- Pet slippers

- Door handle germ removal spray

Please do drop me your ideas!

Somebody needs to take the credit cards / rolled up £50 notes off these fools, teach them what a 'u bend' is for, then re-focus them on putting

This little video should put a smile on your face - or maybe you'll just find it tiresome...

click here

Yes my little hombres I'm back!

I won't bore you all with the details of my absence - let's just say 'they can rebuild him'

Glad to see that although my friend list has seriously deminished, my favourites are still going!

Blog on!

We all need a reminder now and again.

click to download reminder

(it's a powerpoint slideshow)

Hi Smurfs

Been busy, hope to get back blogging again soon.

To keep you all occupied in the interim period, here's a wicked site that makes you into a guitar god!

you rock!

It's a good idea to skip most of the cartoony bits if you have a life....

Ive been reading a great little book of quotes, and thought I'd share some that have made me titter with you all:

Abstract art is a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled, to the utterly bewildered. – Al Capp

This is either a forgery, or a damn clever original! – Frank Sullivan

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. – Spike Milligan

What is the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money. – Henny Youngman

In the midst of life we are in debt. – Ethel Mumford

Women prefer men to have something tender about them… especially legal tender. – Kay Ingram

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. - Dean Martin

I took a speed reading course and read War and Peace in 20 minutes. It’s about Russia. – Woody Allen

I wish that people who have difficulty in communicating would just shut up about it. – Tom Lehrer

A lecture is the process by which the notes of the professor become the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either. – R.K. Rathbun

‘Shut up’, he explained. – Ring Lardner

Sociology is the study of people who do not need to be studied by people who do. – E.S. Turner

Whenever the cannibals are on the brink or starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary. – Oscar Wilde

Hope you liked them. If you know any good ones, tell me. I may well post some more later.